If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
