Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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