I must be too annoying 4 u.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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