He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
