Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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