You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
