Sponge bath it is.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
