I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
