Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
