maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
