Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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