Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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