I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
