Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im six kinds of drunk right now
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize