I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
