I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
