i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize