My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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