is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
