Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
