using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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