I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize