Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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