i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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