he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
