The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
