you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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