I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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