My friends, they love my intelligence
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
