As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
