Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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