i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I have post one night stand depression
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