We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
please come you make the beer taste better
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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