the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
