I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I deserve this hangover.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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