I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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