Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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