It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
