Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
