If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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