No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
