$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
