Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
