So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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