Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
