I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
