so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
