Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.