did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
