your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
