ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
