So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
