Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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