no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
