I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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